What She Did For Love
by CryingCinderella
Summary: Mara Hooch had two great loves in her love. What would she do to keep the both? What she did for her love of the game? Her love of the boy behind it all?


Disclaimer: It's J.K.'s world, I just play in it, because she has the coolest toys.  
  
A/N: This story is totally random and odd, but inspired by a dear friend's odd fetish, that kinda sorta rubbed off on me. *shrugs as she watches Emily coil back in horror* Don't worry love, I just thought it explained a lot for her. *shrugs again* Oh well, I hope the rest of you guys like it. It's a bit of an odd pairing, that I've never seen done before, but oh well, first time for everything I 'spose. Oh and please note, so that you don't get lost, after the many bubble looking things, (@@@~*~@@@) it yearns into almost like a dream sequence.James reflecting back on the night he first met her.  
  
She stood before him, hawk eyes glowing at his, her long silver hair cascading down around her body like a shimmering metallic waterfall. He touched her cheek gingerly, and she shivered, drawing in a sharp and sudden breath. A good bit taller then her, his brown eyes shined down into hers and again she trembled. Was it nerves? Or was it him? His long fingers brushed through the silk strands of her hair, stroking them with his palm. "Mara." he whispered softly as he leaned into her ear.  
He stroked her cheek fondly again. "It will make flying easier, you'll be faster, and it won't be in the way when you go to smack that bludger across the sky," coaxed James. He smiled lovingly at her, again stroking her cheek. "And you'll look stunning, I promise, just trust me Mara.please." She was trembling visibly and chewed on her bottom lip as he released her face from his hand.  
Her eyes rested heavy in their sockets as his own eyes fell upon her face. She was sporting a shiny new red mark on the side of her cheek, no doubtedly wind burn from hours of rigorous practice with her house team. "Come on Bruiser." And she smiled slightly at the Gryffindor given nickname.  
Ever since she had started playing Quidditch in her third year, James Potter, being only a year older then her, had called her Bruiser. At thirteen, she had been a tall and lanky girl, who could bloody up any seventh year boy twice her size. The name had come about after her first game, which had been against Gryffindor. He had taken a bludger to the chest, knocking him clean off his broom, giving Ravenclaw the win. She had been the master arm behind the carefully aimed attack ball.  
He took her face in his hands and pulled her lips to his gently. They embraced but it only took a moment before they were both snogging like mad. It had never been awkward for James and Mara to be together, though the rest of the world might have thought so.  
She a "rough around the edges" tomboy who could never love another boy and he the noble man of Gryffindor, traditionally courting the lovely Lily Evans. Two different people from two completely different worlds, and yet their love for the game brought them together.  
Her tongue gave up the attack as the gentle kitten within came out to play. It never failed to amaze him as to how she could be so rough at times and yet at others, in moments like these, how gentle and down right feminine she could be. His hands wound around behind her, drawing her closer to him and she sighed softly into his mouth.  
Pulling away, she blushed a bit, but smiled none the less. "Always your dirty little secret I am," she said with a certain dignity and a bit of a smirk. Again he stroked her face, being in a fond habit of doing so, this time she leaned into his touch, relaxing a bit. Just being alone with her was an adventure in itself.  
To everyone else she was s rough and feisty woman who wasn't to be messed with. In her sixth year, she had played Quidditch against Slytherin and whacked Lucius Malfoy straight in the nose and not entirely on accident. He played seeker for the team at the time, and spent a week in the hospital wing thereafter, owing it only to his sassy tongue and her throttling fist.  
James had always fancied her, but thought her intangible and elusive, therefore he never really bothered with her. She was a wonder on a broom and great to watch, when she wasn't watching. Heaven help the boy that stared at her the wrong way during that time of the month.  
And yet, for him, she was versatile. A gentle feminine creature beyond his wildest dreams, just as she had been the first night he had encountered her.  
  
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He had stayed out for hours, circling the pitch well into darkness. The loss to Ravenclaw had been embarrassing, but at least this year a girl hadn't knocked him clean off his broom. Two years in a row now his team had fallen at the merciless arms of Ravenclaw and their tomboy beater. She had stopped him once again. Another unseen bludger, dead on, socked it right to the center of his chest.  
Then he heard it. A faint whimper as if some small woodland creature had been caught within devil's snare. His eyes scanned the pitch, seeing nothing as he touched back down and slung his broom over his shoulders. Again, he heard the whimper, coming from somewhere near the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He trotted towards the woods, the cry getting louder as he approached.  
A flash of silver gleamed from just beyond the edge of the wood. He hurried over, hoping it not to be the work of some dark creature leaving behind a wounded unicorn in its wake. As he entered the wood, he could see it wasn't a unicorn at all. In fact, it wasn't even an animal, it was a person and a girl at that, lying on the ground writhing in what appeared to be pain. Her face was contorted in anguish as her high pitched whimpers continued.  
"Bruiser!" he cried recognizing the young Ravenclaw beater. She barely responded to him. He didn't even know her real name, but it didn't matter, she was hurt. Rushing to her side, he immediately saw the problem. Beneath a large fallen tree branch, her ankle was pinned and rather crushed at that. "Just hang in there, I'll help you."  
"Please." she whimpered, her words unable to form at her lips. "Go away." she hissed, pain and anger surging through her voice as she tried to speak. "Please."  
"Go away?" he asked in utter confusion. "You're bloody hurt! You need help!" She growled low, but whimpered as if the tree had pressed harder down upon her ankle. Her pride seemed to not allow her to acknowledge the fact that she did indeed need help. "Please.just let me help you!" he stepped toward her but she twitched and drew back violently.  
Growling in frustration, James frantically searched himself for his wand. Finding it, he swished his wrist quickly and shouted "Wingardium Leviosa." The branch levitated off her ankle and she scampered out from underneath it before it fell back to the ground with a thud. Her face was dirty and bleeding and she shook from head to toe, trying to sit up to look at her ankle. "Let me go get help." he said.  
"No!" She cried out, fierce amber eyes turning on him a cold death- like stare.  
"Why? Look.you're hurt I can help you walk back to the castle or summon Madam Pompfrey." he began, the nobility of his Gryffindor side showing through his boyish mannerisms.  
"No!" she cried again, interrupting him, anger clearly present in her voice. "Leave me alone!" she hissed, twisting her body away from him, groaning as she collapsed in pain.  
"Look girl you're hurt!" he shouted at her, taking another step toward her.  
"Don't you come any closer boy or I'll hex you!" she shouted, her back still to him. Her entire body shook, her ankle a shattered bloody mess.  
"You don't even have your wand." he said hesitantly, still trying to sound confident. "If you did you would have levitated the branch by yourself!" he huffed triumphantly.  
"Just leave me the hell alone!" she spat, turning to face him for the first time. "I can bloody well take care of myself! Thanks for the lift now go on! Get outta here!" She pushed roughly against the ground and pulled herself to her feet but only for a moment. "Oh!" she cried tumbling forward, her crushed ankle giving way under her weight.  
Strong arms fell around her before she fell back to the ground. Her body shook violently but she did not try to escape him. "Please." she muttered, her face tilted to the ground in shame.  
"Please what?" he asked softly, shifting her weight about in his arms, trying to glimpse into her eyes. "Bruiser." he didn't know what else to call her, never having bothered to learn her real name. After all she was an opponent not a teammate. "Er.what's the matter? Are you hurt that bad?"  
Her long hair was clinging to her and all around his arms as he tried to tilt her head to face him. Eyes meeting one another, he gasped. She was crying, silent tears streaking down her cheeks, mingling with the pale of her skin and the crimson of her blood. Trying with all her might, she pushed against his chest, trying to get out of his arms but he held her there. Tipping her head down, she closed her eyes and looked away from him again.  
"What is it?" he tried to tilt her head to see her eyes but she refused stubbornly, figuring he had seen far too much already.  
"Just go. Leave me here," she said in a voice, cold and low. He was concerned, why was she being so stubborn? Clearly she was hurt and would have stayed thus had he not been out circling the pitch, but why was she so willing to push him away? What had he done to offend her? "Bruiser.please, let me help you."  
"I don't need your help!" she shouted, but this time she did not attempt to push him away. The girl allowed her bleeding, tear-stained cheek to fall upon his sturdy shoulder if for but a moment before she pulled it back and looked down towards the ground.  
"Please.I don't even know your name." he stroked her cheek lightly and she turned her head sharply to look at him. His eyes went wide in their sockets over her sudden movement. But he stared back gently, he meant no harm he only wished to help. "Please.you're hurt let me help you." There was an awkward silence between them, filled by the night air and whistling wind. "Let me go back to the castle and-  
"No!" she said sharply, but not as loud as before. "Don't go back to the castle. They can't see me like this," she bowed her head in shame, allowing her pride to slip from her fingers. "I'll never be able to live it down." It suddenly dawned on him as to why she wouldn't want to go back to the castle looking the way she did, so he nodded his head. She after all had the reputation of a strong seventh year boy and to see her a crying mess like this, would leave room for holes in her character.  
"Why don't you at least sit down, let me take a look at your ankle then?"  
Reluctantly, she allowed him to ease her onto the large fallen branch, pulling her long slender leg out before her. He pushed back the leg of her riding pants, to see her ankle swollen up to twice its size. She winced as he placed his hand on it. "Sorry." Pondering for a moment, he waved his wand and her ankle was bound in a splint. "Can you walk?"  
She looked at her ankle and then up to him. "I can try, though-" she hesitated, sighing in disgust. "Though I may need your help." He nodded at her and took her hand as she stood to her feet, very unsteadily. "Wait.why?"  
"I want to take you to get cleaned up."  
"No. I already told you I'm not going up to the castle and if you think-"  
"I won't take you to the castle."  
"Oh." She closed her eyes, looking away from him, feeling foolish.  
"Listen, just lean on me and I know where you can get cleaned up before you do have to go back to the castle. I've done it a lot myself." She nodded and leaned on his arm as they began to walk into the woods. "What is your name?"  
She looked up at him, "What?"  
"Your name, I don't know it."  
"Oh. It's Mara, Mara Hooch. And you're James Potter, seeker for Gryffindor." He smiled a bit, at the mention of his own name, rather a bit surprised that she knew his name.  
"Yeah and you play beater for Ravenclaw." That ended the conversation as they walked deeper into the woods in the silent darkness. She hobbled along side of him, trying not to use him as a crutch. But it became necessary as they hiked down into a bit of a dip. "Watch it now," he said softly as they came near a large patch of moss that seemed to stretch up to the sky.  
"Where are we?" she asked, looking around, but not seeing anything.  
He smiled a bit. "This is a blue lagoon grotto I discovered sometime ago, when out cruising around after a tough loss."  
"At least you didn't fall off your broom this time." He gasped at her and she smiled, rather smirked, but it was the first smile he had seen on her face since he had encountered her under the tree. "What?" she asked, looking into his eyes.  
"You're so.different." he said softly, looking her up and down. "Not that I knew you, but you're.you're."  
"I'm what? Not like the typical groupie girl?"  
"Er." his cheeks began to burn as he desperately tried to check his blush. "Er.yeah." She nodded her head, rolling her eyes before she clicked her tongue. Placing a hand on her hip, she waited for him to reply. Hastily changing the subject, he sighed, taking her by the hand. "Anyway.come on." he pushed part of the mossy curtain out of the way, revealing a gorgeous blue lagoon. Her eyes went wide as he walked through it. "Well come on!" She followed him slowly and he pushed the moss back over the entrance.  
"This place is.I've never seen anything like it."  
"You don't get out much do you?" She just stared at him before he came over and offered his hand to her again.  
"Come on, have a sit by the water and we'll get you cleaned up." They walked over to the water and she sat down, as he kneeled down beside her. "Lean here, I can help." He pulled a cloth from his robes and dipped it in the water.  
She leaned into him and he dabbed the wet cloth on her face, gently wiping away the dirt and blood. Mara looked beautiful in the pale moonlight that reflected off the water. Her eyes were sparkling amber and her long silky hair shimmering silver. "Thanks." She said softly, the water feeling cool against her skin.  
"No problem.you can keep it." he handed her the linen, his initials embroidered into the corner, now stained with the blood mud and tears of her face. Dabbling the cloth against her cheek once more, she tucked it away into her robes before falling silent against the stillness of the lagoon.  
"Why did you bring me here?"  
"What?" he asked as her.  
"Why did you bring me here?"  
"You said you didn't want to go back to the castle. And I wasn't about to leave you alone. Though I can see why." She looked at him for a moment, questions in her eyes. "You look a bloody mess. Dirt all over your face, bleeding like that."  
"I have a reputation to protect. Girls like me don't get hurt," she said gruffly.  
"I see."  
"And you.you saw me.I just couldn't bare the thought of others seeing me like that."  
"Seeing you like what Mara? In pain? Crying?" She flinched when he spoke and he backed off. "Look I don't care what you do, I don't even know you-"  
"I couldn't bare them to see me like that. Weak and broken, downtrodden almost. It was so stupid. I was flying and lost control of the broom, and I just didn't react fast enough and I- I- I-" her voice tightened in her throat as she neared tears again.  
"Shh." he coaxed her and put his arm tenderly on her shoulder. She suddenly fell forward into his arms and he pulled her into a careful embrace. Collapsing in his arms, she let the tears roll silently down her cheeks and into his shoulders. His fingers stroked lightly through hair, patting her back gently.  
A moment later, she pulled away from his arms. "Thank you," her eyes filled with embarrassment and dying tears. "And please don't tell anyone.please James, I beg you, if anyone found out about this-"  
"Mara. Don't worry. It'll be our secret. Just our little secret."  
"Our dirty little secret," she said and laughed just a bit. "Just look at how dirty I am."  
He laughed heartily, looking her up and down and seeing how dirty she really was. "Right you are Mara.a bloody good mess." And she leaned into him, her amber eyes sparkling bright. She was so close to him and nothing else seemed quite right. "You look beautiful tonight."  
"Mmm.shut up and kiss me." and he didn't have to be told twice. They embraced and his lips found hers, kissing passionately. "James." He pushed his tongue into her mouth feeling the sweet sensation of her overcome him. "James." The sensation was washing over him. "JAMES!"  
He shook his head. "What? Oh sorry." He said to her as she stood there staring at him, their kiss long since ended.  
"What in gods name where you thinking about?"  
"Oh nothing Mara.just when I first met you."  
She blushed. "I see. Now.back to what we started before you started reminiscing." Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled her lips to his. His arms found their way around her waist as they shared another deep kiss.  
"You know Bruiser."  
"Yes James I'll do it."  
"You will? I mean, excellent. That wasn't even what I was going to ask, but alright."  
She smiled at him. "James, I'm scared. What will they say?"  
"Mara, since when have you ever cared about what they say?"  
She laughed. "You're right. But what will we tell Lily? What if she gets suspicious?"  
"What have we always told Lily?"  
Again she laughed. James being the noble Gryffindor that he was, couldn't admit to his girlfriend that he was having somewhat of an exclusive relationship with a tomboy Ravenclaw. She and Lily Evans had become good friends ever since that night in the woods with James and at first, the other girl had been suspicious, and almost jealous. That was until the both told her that Mara was playing for the other team so to speak, that she was riding down the not so straight path. And she had believed it. Lily had believed that James spent so much time with her because she felt insecure around other girls.  
"Mara?" He asked as she leaned in to kiss him again.  
"Hmm?" Her lips brushed his.  
"Are you sure? You seemed so scared before."  
Her sparkling amber eyes locked with his. "I still am, but I realized that it doesn't matter where I am or what happens to me, just so long as I'm with you.here in your arms, I don't care if you shave me bald."  
He smiled and kissed her forehead. "No intentions of it. But I promise you won't regret it. And no more losses to Slytherin because of hair in your face." It had been the world's biggest debate between them ever since that night in the Forbidden Forest. She loved Quidditch, as did he, but she always complained about her hair. It was the longest mane of what felt like pure silk that he had ever seen.  
It fell gracefully down from her head and was very thick, hanging just below her knees. She always tried tucking it up into a tight bun before she got on the pitch for a game, but before it was over, it had all fallen out of its restraints and got in her way. The most recent loss to Slytherin had been because she had missed a bludger that could have knocked Lucius Malfoy away from the snitch while Edgar Davies snatched it for Ravenclaw. However, her long hair had come undone from its bun and gotten in her eyes.  
Taking her hand in his, he helped her off his bed and grabbed his invisibility cloak. He would take her out of his room, and no one would be the wiser. Remus Sirius and Peter were all still down in the common room, and Lily was most likely still in the library. He snuck her in unnoticed and would take her right back out the same way.  
Entering the common room, with Mara under the cloak, he waved a friendly hello to his roommates. "Out for an evening fly James?" asked Sirius. "Want me to go with you?"  
He shrugged. "It's up to you, I don't care. But I'm going down to the broom shed to polish mine up a bit before I go out, and then it'll just mostly be skimming over the Forest, looking for that legendary spider."  
"Oh not that thing again," sighed Remus as he rolled his eyes and continued to scribble notes down on his roll of parchment. It was always his excuse for going out on late nights when he didn't want company. "Honestly James, it doesn't exist. It's just a myth. Both Professor Binns and Professor McGonagall have told us that many many times," he said trying to dissuade his dear friend from his ideas.  
Again, he shrugged. "Suite yourself, I'll be back before morning."  
"Don't bother," said Arthur Weasley who was sitting on an armchair by the fire, redhead Molly Evans in his lap. "Tomorrow's Saturday and the game doesn't start 'til two." Some of the boys laughed, knowing James habit of staying out all night and no one really knowing where he was or what he was doing.  
He continued on to the Portrait of the Fat Lady and he was about to open it, when she swung open of her own accord, followed by the entrance of Molly's sister Lily. The young redhead carried an armful of books, her knapsack flung over her shoulders, a scowl on her lips but it instantly brightened to a smile when she saw James. "Hey there!" She leaned in to give him a chaste but sweet kiss. Returning it, he smiled at her. "Come and sit with my by the fire? I just finished reading this wonderful muggle novel, all about Space Travel and a dark empire trying to take over the Confederation and I can't wait to tell you all about it."  
James smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Sorry Lily, I've already made plans. I'm meeting a few of the boys down on the pitch and we're going to go look for that giant spider."  
She groaned. "Oh not again. Honestly, I thought you'd given up on that. Didn't you say the last time you went out looking for it, that it would be the last time?"  
"It is, I'm going out tonight for the last time." He smirked and she punched him playfully in the stomach. "Besides Lily, it's rather boring for you to go flying about, atop the Forest, in the freezing cold looking for something that you don't believe in."  
"James Potter, you're lucky I love you." they kissed again and he slipped out of Gryffindor Tower, tugging the invisibility cloak around him as well.  
"You are terrible, you know that?" she whispered in his ear as the slipped down the halls, passing by Professor McGonagall's office. "You know if she caught you.out here with me.you'd lose your spot in tomorrow's game?"  
"Who? McGonagall? Or Lily?" he teased, licking her neck gently as they walked.  
"Both!" but she did not lean away from his affectionate tongue. "McGonagall will have your grandchildren in detention if she catches you out! And Lily would break your limbs.rather have Arthur break them for her!" she teased back.  
"So then hush," he leaned in and kissed her lips as they stood frozen in the corridor just beyond their head of house's door. They walked the rest of the way in silence until they had reached the locker rooms by the pitch. "Come on in here," he waved his wand at the lock and entered it, pulling the door tight shut behind him. They had spent so many nights together in Gryffindor's locker room.  
"You know something James?"  
"Hmm?" he tossed the invisibility cloak on the floor of the main room. Four rooms made up the locker room. A main room where all the lockers were, and connected to it was a shower room. Off the side of the main room was the Quidditch Common Room/Study and then in the Study, through a seemingly locked door was the spa. As team captain James spent more time in the Study then the other players and was given the key to the spa.  
"Tomorrow will be the last game I ever get to play with you, you know that right?" Her eyes looked almost sad as she spoke to him. But he smiled and crossed the room to her, claiming her lips instantly. They backed up into the study, the fire lighting in the hearth as they entered. Backing up, they crashed into the couch and she fell down onto it, him on top of her.  
Hands tangled in hair, and a passionate kiss ensued. Within moments, she had snaked her hands down between them and was stroking him through his trousers. He was no innocent, and had managed to get his hands up under her shirt and had begun to feel her up. Their tongues dueled inside each other's mouths as their hands continued to work.  
Suddenly he pulled back, breathing a bit heavily, his cheeks slightly flushed. "Mara."  
She looked up at him her hawk eyes sparkling. "Yes James?" He searched her over with a look of lust and yearning in his eyes. "What is it that you want James?" Leaning up off her, he brought her to a sitting position and suddenly her bravado was gone. The fear clear and present in her eyes as his fingers played lightly through her hair.  
"Mara what is it? Don't you trust me?"  
She shook her head, closing her eyes momentarily before heaving a great sigh, "It's not that it's just." another sigh before she started again. "I've had long hair all my life, it's the only thing that's ever really defined my femininity." Her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap. "I mean I play Quidditch, I work out, I'm a tomboy for Merlin's sake. If it wasn't for my hair, they'd think I was a boy!"  
"Mara, you are clearly not a boy. You have a beautiful body, thank god no one's ever noticed." She smacked him playfully in the ribs and he smiled. "Really you do, and you're the best Quidditch player Ravenclaw has ever seen, according to Flitwick. You're DDG."  
"DDG?"  
"Drop Dead Gorgeous, it's what Lily and Molly say when they think Arthur and I aren't listening." She snorted. "What?"  
"Arthur's really got it bad for her, doesn't he?"  
James nodded, "You've got no idea. Just the other day Lily was telling me that Molly's got it all planned out. She wants seven kids. I'm thankful that she only wants one."  
"I want a child."she said a bit saddened.  
"Oh do you now?" he said teasingly, "So that he can fly around as the best seeker on Gryffindor?" Again, she hit him in the ribs.  
"No you twit, so she can fly around as the best beater on Ravenclaw." They both smiled an their lips met. His arms held her close and she leaned into his embrace.  
"So what do you say?"  
She pulled away from the kiss, a look of indecision on her face, as if she were weighing the pros and cons of the choice out inside her head. "Well it does get in my way a lot, but it would help improve my game, and it would certainly mean no more losses to Slytherin." He nodded with a bit of excited agreement. "But on the other hand.it does define my femininity and make me look DDG to any man who might happen to take notice."  
It was James' turn to hit playfully, and he did so right on her shoulder. A moment of silence between them and she leaned in for a gentle kiss, before nuzzling her face into his shoulders. She murmured, "Alright." He stood bringing her up with him and again they embraced. Their lips met quickly. She could never stand to be this close to him without having intimate contact of some sort.  
Joined at the lips, he began to guide them away from the couch, heading for the door of the spa. "I promise." he kissed her lips. "You won't." another kiss, "Be sorry." A third kiss and she pushed her tongue into his mouth. She pinned him to the door and ravaged her hands into his hair, soft and silky. Feeling him stir against her, she smiled and pulled away.  
"The spa James? Honestly.it's locked. How on earth do you propose that we-" She stopped suddenly as he drew his hand before her face. He held a tiny silver key, dangling on a small piece of twine. "Oh you are good." She smirked and kissed him.  
Turning around, he put the key into the door and opened it, revealing the Gryffindor spa, of which had never been used by anyone but the team captain, James Potter. He was most pleased to have finally showed her the room. It was soft blue, with purples and blacks trimming it, rather then the harsh overbearing golds and scarlets that she had expected.  
"This place is beautiful!" She exclaimed, eyeing the hot tub and luxury sofa. There was even a bed, and a traditional bathroom shower. A fire roared in the hearth near the bed and the lights were low. "Simply amazing." A blue velvet swing near the far wall caught her eye and she smiled.  
"Do you like it?" he asked her, his hands tracing circles on her back as he shut the door and locked them in.  
"Do I ever!" she turned around and smiled. "This is amazing. How come you've never brought me here before?"  
He shrugged. "Never really thought about it I guess. Take off your shoes and feel the floor, made out of fine white grained sand." She looked down and her eyes went wide in amazement. Just as he had said, the floor was made of sand, and it looked temptingly soft. Reaching down, she pulled off her flying boots and set them near the doorway before stepping on the sand.  
"Mmm.this feels delicious."  
"Not as good as this." he came over and pushed her hair over her right shoulder before kissing her neck softly. His tongue laved over her skin, tasting the sweet warmth of her body. "Oh James." she moaned softly and leaned back a bit into his lips. They traced their way up the back of her neck and around her ear, before crossing her jawbone and finally reaching her mouth. "And just think, I'll be able to do that any time I want with your hair out of the way." She smiled weakly and closed her eyes, leaning into his gentle kisses. "Whatever makes you happy love." her body seemed to tremble at the gentlest of touches, had even from the first night he had touched her in the woods. "Even if it is beautiful and won't be once you're done with it."  
"Mara." he said taking her face in his hands. "You are what's beautiful." and her face went slightly red as she closed her eyes and felt his lips kiss her. "So." kiss. "Very." kiss. "Beautiful." Another kiss and she was arching her body into his, feeling his hardness pressed against her lower stomach.  
Her eyes opened halfway and stared up at him, "I'll do this for you. I'd do anything for you." She smiled and touched his cheek lovingly. He felt a pang in his heart at her words. He loved her deeply, but cared for Lily greatly.  
"Say you'll do it for the game love, not for me."  
She frowned, but kissed his lips gently. "Anything for you love, you are my game. I love you and Quidditch the same. I would die for the game, as I'd die for you." she bit her lower lip and looked deep into his eyes. "I'd give up Quidditch for you."  
He paused a moment, feeling her words sting deep. She had never expressed in words before how much she truly did love him, though he had always felt it there. "I know you would." he drew in a slow breath knowing she loved Quidditch more then life itself. "And I would do the same for you, I would give up Quidditch for you. To the ends of the earth and back, I'd go for you. I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you, walk the wire for you, I'd even die for you."  
"Thank you Bryan Adams." She said and laughed. He too laughed and then kissed her forehead. "Now just do this quick before I change my mind."  
"Alright then, but I promise I'll make it up to you. I promise."  
"You'd better Potter." He loved it when she called him that. She sounded so sexy when she did, it sent shivers up his spine.  
"Don't get your knickers all in a twist Hooch." He retorted and she smiled. "Now.er." he looked around the room and pointed to the couch. "Sit there." She started to walk over to the couch but he grabbed her 'round the shoulders. "You are the best."  
Mara smiled and looked into his eyes, being completely serious. "Are you certain." her voice trailed off and he could sense the doubt.  
"Good grief girl you're so nervous you're giving me the shakes." He started to shake his hand violently and she laughed at him. "Come on," putting his arm around her waist he guided her over towards the hot tub. "Why don't we relax first?"  
She nodded. "Alright, sounds like a plan." With her wand, she magicked a rather large hair clip and pulled the massive bundle of tresses high atop her head. James stared at her, watching her complete the seemingly difficult task. "What?"  
"Nothing, just watching you."  
"Why don't you watch me over here?" she purred seductively. "Watch me undress that is." Deliberately, she turned around so her back was facing him as she shrugged off her robes and stepped out of her knickers. Her arms stretched high above her head, tightening the muscles across her smooth back as she did. James stared at her, eyes glued to her gorgeous figure, trying to drink it all in, fearing she might disapparate if he blinked. She mewed like a cat before stepping up onto the ladder and then down into the hot tub, her naked body disappearing beneath the bubbles. He walked over to the tub and leaned his elbows on the ledge. "Well?"  
"Well what?" he said dreamily.  
"Aren't you going to join me?" James grinned a bit of a love struck grin before quickly de-robing and stepping into the tub as well.  
"That better?" he asked, his lean chest showing above the water.  
"Much." He had sat next to her but not quite touching her and it drove her wild. She reached her hand over to rest it on his thigh but he moved. "Hey!"  
"Is for horses." He stated plainly and she splashed water at him. Shaking his head, he splashed it right back at her, starting a full-blown splash match. Water was flying everywhere and they were both laughing before he grabbed her hands and held them high above her head, out of the water. "Now what are you going to do?"  
"Kiss you." She said and leaned forward to do so, but he moved his lips away. "What is it James?" He just stared at her for a moment. "You know I can't resist you. I have to have my hands on you, and your hands on me." Nodding, he smiled and leaned to her lips, kissing her deeply.  
His hands slowly made their way down to her breasts and circled her nipples with his thumbs. Her soft whimpers of pleasure were lost in his mouth as they kissed. It had always been passionate between them, but tonight seemed somehow different, more so if possible. Their tongues dueled against each other, she finally relenting and allowing him to explore her mouth thoroughly.  
Mara slipped her hands down below the water and wound her fingers into the soft curls of his manhood. He continued to play with her breast, teasing her nipples and flicking them in rhythm with their breathing, which had become shallow and ragged. Her fingers curled around his hardened member and he gasped into her mouth.  
She broke the kiss and smiled at him. "Do you like that?" He blushed and she smiled. Her fingers slid up and down his length, beneath the water, feeling how hard he was. It made every drop of blood in her body come racing towards her pulsing center between her legs.  
His fingers pinched her nipple and she shuddered. "Chilly?" he whispered leaning into her ear.  
"Actually.yes." She stated softly as he licked the sensitive skin just below the lobe. "Perhaps we might venture to a spot that's warmer? Someplace more suitable for the task at hand? Wouldn't want my hair falling into this water as you shear it all away." Nodding in agreement, he stood and helped her to her feet as well.  
"Ladies first." He said politely and allowed her to walk before him, climbing up the later so that he could gaze at her derrière. Smiling, James followed her and stood on the sandy ground. The sand was enchanted to not stick to wet feet and for this he was grateful. "Shall we?" He motioned to the couch and she walked over and sat down. "Oh dear."  
"What is it?" she asked looking up at him as he tapped his wand over his head, drying his body. "Is there something wrong?"  
He tapped the wand over her head, rendering her dry as well. "No, well it's just that this couch is a bit short for me to be working with you on.if it were a bit higher."  
"No problem." She stood and took his wand. "If I may."  
"Of course." She pointed his wand at the luxurious couch and muttered a few words. Before his eyes, the furniture transformed from a short couch to a much taller one. Mara smiled and handed him his wand before curling up on it. "There, that should do quite nicely."  
He nodded. "Indeed. Now if you'll just sit up." she did as he asked and smiled. "Now are you sure?"  
"Yes yes.just do it quickly before I change my mind." Walking behind her where she could not see, she heard him unzip what she thought to be a bag. He returned and sat beside her on the couch.  
"This is what I have to work with. They're called scissors. Muggles use them." He handed her the pair of gold styling scissors. She took them and shivered to feel their coldness against her skin. "Put your thumb through the smaller loop there, and your two fingers through that one." he helped her open and close the scissors, showing her how they worked. "They'll work quite nicely I think."  
She swallowed hard, blinking her eyes before staring at him. "James.I- " But he cut her off with a kiss, pressing his body to hers for warmth. Mara tilted her head to the left a little and placed the scissors in his lap. A moment later he pulled away, gazing at her with reassurance.  
"I promise everything will be alright. Trust me. That's all I ask of you." She nodded and he picked up the scissors. Not moving from her side, still seated on the couch, he reached up and pulled the clip out of her hair. A tumultuous wave of silver spilled down her back and over the back of the unnaturally tall couch, just barely touching the ground.  
He took his wand from where it lay on the couch and transfigured the back of the couch away into a small stub that was less then half a foot high, so that it didn't get in the way of her tumbling hair. "Are you ready?" Her entire body trembled but she shook her head yes, closing her eyes. Picking up the golden shears in his right hand, he kissed her cheek and brought his left hand to her head.  
James gathered a section of hair, nearly four inches wide at the left side of her head. He pulled it taught away from her scalp and opened the blades of the scissors with a loud swiping noise. She shuddered at the sound but held still. The cold blades were placed at the top of her scalp and drawn down two inches. Her heart was beating faster with every passing second and she breathed in deeply, holding her breath.  
"Scchhniicck! Scchhniicck! Scchhniick!" The scissors sliced through her silver locks and severed them from her head. She gasped and tears began to stream down her face. In his hand he held the severed tresses, and set them neatly aside. "Mara." he whispered softly, seeing the tears streaming down her cheeks. He had only ever seen her cry once before, and hoped he wasn't causing her pain.  
Setting the scissors down on the arm of the couch, he took her hand in his and pulled her into a hug. She clung to his body, her tears now flowing down his chest. They were silent tears, but tears none the less and he moved his head to kiss her. "Are you alright? Should I stop?"  
Mara sniffled and looked up at him, feeling foolish. "No, go on. I'm sorry." She sat straight up and closed her eyes again. Unsure and unsteady, he opened the blades to the scissors again, bringing them to another taught strand of hair and cutting it away so it was the same length as the first. They continued to make a soft "Scchhniicck" noise as he worked his way around cutting her hair. Each section was made equally as short as the first, her silver locks slipping away before her unseeing eyes.  
A handful of hair cut from the right side slipped between his fingers and slid down her chest and stomach. She could feel the silky soft strands slide down her thighs and over her feet before falling to the floor below. All her life she had taken excellent care of her locks. Washing and conditioning them every day, brushing them every night and now they were slipping away. Right through her fingers because of her love for a game, but more importantly, her love for a boy.  
Another few clips of the scissors and they stopped all together. Her hair lie in enormous piles on the floor at her feet, all save for a few sections that James had lay out across the arm of the couch. "You can open your eyes now.it's over." He uttered softly. She opened her eyes only to be greeted with his, and she tried to smile, allowing only the ghost of one to cross her lips.  
"May I see myself?" she asked him and he nodded, handing her a mirror. She hesitated and closed her eyes before drawing the mirror up to her face. Upon opening her eyes, she was met with the reflection of a woman with small amber eyes, and dainty but cute ears, and a hawk like nose, with very defined facial features. The woman sported two inches of silver tresses all over her head.  
"D-do you like it?"  
She stared long and hard into the mirror, before saying softly, "I don't even recognize the girl in the mirror." He placed an arm on her shoulder and she closed her eyes, hanging her head. James sighed sadly and pulled her into a loving embrace, again feeling her tears run down his chest.  
"Mara.you still look beautiful." he whispered into her ear. Her head rose from his chest and she stared into his eyes. "I'm not just saying that. I mean it." It was something about the way he looked her that really made her sure he meant it, so she leaned up and kissed his cheek.  
"I'm sorry.I'm awful to you." her voice was choked with tears. "It's lovely.I just have to adjust to it.you are excellent with your hands." He shook his head and stood up.  
"Come on." Grabbing her 'round the middle, he hoisted her up into his arms and carried her over to the bed, lying her down on the soft silk blankets. Her severed locks a disregarded memory at the moment, as they lay motionless back on the couch and floor.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Making it up to you."  
"Oh James no.you can't," she cried as his intentions suddenly dawned on her. A giant weight had been lifted from her head and the back of her neck even felt chilled in the absence of her locks but it was no reason for him to act rash all of the sudden. "What about Lily?" He had never gone all the way with her, because of his Gryffindor Golden Girl, Lily Evans, and had promised the young lass that she would be his first.  
"I don't care. It's you I want." He hesitated. "It's you I love. Please Mara. I know you want to, you don't know how many times I've wanted to before, and I could just never bring myself to do it. You gave up so much for me tonight."  
"It was only hair." she said, surprised that the words had crossed her lips, reaching a hand up to feel the short fringe of tresses that rested well above her ears.  
"Hair that you loved, that you were willing to give up for a boy that you love.a boy that loves you back just as much," he touched her chest just between her breasts, resting his palm over her heart. "A boy that loves you more."  
"James." she gasped, feeling her heart leap and skip a beat at the same time.  
"Let me tell you something Mara. Of all the nights I've been with you, I never really looked. But tonight I did. Tonight I looked into you eyes and saw what has been there all along. Something I swore had never been there before, but now I know that it has been there all along. I saw my love for you, reflecting back at me from my own eyes, bright as the sun when it dances across the pond at daybreak. To hell with Lily. I love you."  
  
She sat up and pulled him down on top of her, kissing him immediately. "James Potter, you are incredible and I love you more then you could ever imagine!" Her lips claimed his quickly, devouring his mouth and running her hands up and down his back.  
He stared down at her. "I'm willing to give myself to you. If you'll have me."  
"Any day Potter, any day." She said and kissed him again. As he leaned down on her, she could feel his hard erection pressing into her thigh urgently. Their motions were graceful as he positioned himself above her. "Please James.make love to me." and he pushed into her, slowly at first, and then he met her maiden barrier.  
James was a bit shocked to find his lovely beater still a virgin, but he pulled back and then pushed through, remedying that problem immediately. She shuddered in pain and he stilled himself a moment. "Are you alright?"  
"I will be.it just stings." he stroked her cheek as she closed her eyes. "But I wouldn't have you any other way." He began to pull out. It being obviously both their first time at sex, and he was not sure as to how things would go, but he hoped for the best, knowing that he loved her and that was all that mattered. They worked themselves into a rhythm of him thrusting in and out and her arching her hips up to his thrusts. It was powerful and mind blowing. Her walls were slick and warm, inviting to his throbbing member and he felt himself slipping away from reality as he plunged deep into her.  
Their lips crushed against each other's as she whimpered. He was bringing her closer and closer as he quickened his pace, driving in and out of her tight warmth. Her lips quickly traveled down to his neck and she began suckling and nipping at the skin there. His hand slipped down between them and found her sensitive nub of flesh that he knew would make her scream with pleasure. James pushed his thumb against her clitoris and thrust into her harder.  
She came almost instantly, screaming his name against his neck, biting down a bit harder then intended. Waves of ecstasy racked her body, all her muscles tightening at once and then releasing her into a complete state of euphoria. Her release triggered his own and as he drove into her, his release came, spilling his hot seed into her womb.  
A moment later, he collapsed on top of her, resting his head between her breasts. Both were breathing heavy, hearts racing. She was the first to open her eyes and cast a glance at her lover, who was still collapsed on top of her. Smiling she stroked her fingers through his hair and he sighed pleasurably.  
"That.was.wonderful." he said between gasps for breath. He reached up and felt his neck as he slowly pulled out of her. The loss of body contact made them both shudder so he pulled the duvet up over them both, drawing her body nearer to his. His hand passed over the teeth marks on his neck. She looked at the large purple mark she had left there and giggled. "What?"  
"They don't call my Bruiser for nothing you know." his eyes went slightly wide and she smiled at him. He kissed her softly and pulled her into his body.  
"We should rest.we've got a big game tomorrow."  
She nodded. "Yes losers need their rest don't they." she closed her eyes and drifted off into sleep in his arms, not having a care in the world. He felt no regrets nor resentment, not even a drop of guilt. He was in the arms of his lover, the woman who loved him back, unconditionally. Closing his eyes, he too drifted off to sleep, dreaming happy thoughts.  
  
@@@@@~*~@@@@@~*~@@@@@~*~@@@@@~*~@@@@@~*~@@@@@  
  
Arthur and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team sat nervously in the locker room, awaiting the start of the second game of the season. Everything was ready, and only one thing was missing, their team captain, James Potter.  
"Where do you suppose he could be?" asked Robert Wood, the keeper of the team, looking a bit worried. "I mean it's just not like him to run off the night before a big game and not come back."  
Sirius Black, one of the beaters snorted. "You clearly don't know Potter then do you?" Wood just looked confused. He rolled his eyes. "Honestly Robbie, that could have been a bloody quaffle that just flew right over your head and you never woulda known it." Most of the other boys laughed.  
"Anyway." said Arthur as Sirius went over and changed his shirt, "Sirius said that he never came back to Gryffindor Tower last night," the redhead shrugged at the other boy. "Not that I would have known, I went to bed not to long after he left."  
Remus sniggered. "To Molly's bed." Arthur blushed and turned away from both of them, pretending to adjust his broom as he slung it up over his shoulder. "Right then. So no one knows where James is?" Remus sighed. "I was afraid of that."  
"What's that?" asked Daniel Belle, a chaser on the team.  
"That James has gone off and done something he's going to regret." Said Remus seriously.  
"Shouldn't matter what he's done," said Sirius coming back over to them with a mouthful of muffin. "He'll be here one way or another."  
"You know Black, James wouldn't much appreciate you eating that," said Richard Spinette, another chaser. "He'd drop you ya' know."  
"Doesn't matter. James isn't here now is he?" he said with a smug smirk on his face. Sirius took another bite of his muffin but he was suddenly slapped on the back, causing him to drop the morsel to the floor. "Hey! Who the bloody-"  
"Black it would do you good to follow team rules whether I'm here or not. Now drop and give me twenty." James Potter stood right behind him, tall and proud. The team turned and smiled, chuckling and greeting their no longer Missing In Action captain, as Sirius dropped to the bench and did his push ups. No one noticed Mara Hooch slipping out of the room beneath the security of James' invisibility cloak.  
"Well then? What are you waiting for? Let's go play Quidditch!" The men gave an almighty roar and rushed out the doors. Remus and James were the last to leave the locker room. He smiled at his fellow teammate, but Remus did not smile back. "What?"  
"I just hope you don't break her heart James." He paused and looked him in the eye. "Hers or Lily's."  
  
~*~  
  
The stands were packed with students and teachers alike. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick as well as Headmaster Dumbledore sat in the staff box cheering respectively for their team, with Dumbledore remaining neutral. Annie Jordan sat beside them commentating.  
"Another ten points for Gryffindor! They're certainly on a roll today, but when isn't Gryffindor on a roll? What with the three best chasers ever, Belle, Lupin, and Spinette and I know them personally. Belle works out over five times a day and Lupin can bench press over-"  
"Jordan!" shouted a very stern voice, belonging to Professor McGonagall. "Keep it up and I'll knock you right out of this box!"  
"Sorry Professor," she muttered, returning her attention to the game at hand. Charlie Davies, the Ravenclaw seeker, had remained stationary for the better part of the game, as had James Potter. Gryffindor was up by a lot but would still lose if Ravenclaw got to the snitch first. "Goal for Remus Lupin!" shouted Annie as the Gryffindor chaser slapped hands with their teammates.  
And then he saw it. A glittering gold, hovering near the Ravenclaw goalposts. In a flash, James tore off down the pitch, but Charlie was not far behind him. Faster and faster they sped, the snitch taking off the moment the seekers had neared it. James was ahead as he dove down, racing faster and faster, hurtling towards the ground in hot pursuit of the snitch.  
Charlie teamed along beside him, panic falling on his face as they almost came to a grinding halt at the ground. He pulled up and sped off overhead while James sharply pulled the broom parallel with the ground. Mara saw him within inches of catching the snitch and flew down the field as fast as she could. His fingers outstretched, James leaned forward almost able to grasp the snitch when "James! Lookout!" hollered Sirius.  
He twisted his head toward the voice and smack! A bludger hit him dead on and he went tumbling off his broom. The stadium stood and gasped. Charlie Davies seized his chance and swooped down, snatching the snitch. The students of Ravenclaw and Slytherin began to cheer, bursting into waves of happy screams as Davies held the snitch high up over his head.  
The Gryffindor team rushed over to their fallen keeper, as did Mara Hooch. "James!" she cried, seeing him lying there on the pitch. Her intent had never been to knock him straight in the head. His eyes were half-open and they were glossy. A bleary image of a woman stood before him as she knelt down to his side. "James!" Sirius tried to push his way through and push her out of the way, but Arthur and Remus held him back, forming a tight circle around their captain and her. "James!" she cried a third time.  
He blinked slightly. "Mara." and hazy black floated before his eyes. "Mara- I love." his voice was raspy and the crowds cheers were so loud she had to lean close to hear. "I love you." and James' eyes fluttered shut. Sirius growled, not having heard his best friend's words but having seen his head lull lifelessly back against the pitch. Arthur and Remus were losing their hold on him quick and before they could shout their warning, he had broken free of them.  
Grabbing her roughly by the collar, Sirius Black pulled Mara to her feet. "You bloody bitch! You didn't have to knock him out to win!"  
Her eyes went wide in rage, her heart burning, the blood rushing to her head. But the words had escaped her mouth before she could stop them. "If you hadn't hollered at him, he wouldn't have been hit in the bloody face you twit!"  
"What was I supposed to do, let him get hit?"  
"I knew what I was doing! I wasn't aiming for his face!"  
"It's a wonder! But at least you could see today with all that ruddy hay out of your face!" he sneered, narrowing his eyes. Her eyes fell, flickering hurt just long enough for him to catch it. "Stupid haircut, hope you didn't do it for the game because it doesn't make you any better! Specially since you've got to cheat to win for your team!"  
"You bastard!" she hollered, her eyes flaring with anger and hatred.  
"Bloody belt up! You've injured my best friend and don't even give a damn! He could die!"  
"I love him!" she blurted out suddenly, biting her lower lip wishing she could take it back.  
Sirius snorted. "And let me guess? He loved you back? Dream on dyke girl." he hissed, sounding scathing almost like a Slytherin. "He only hung around you so you wouldn't go after Lily!"  
"Take that back!" she shouted  
"Make me!" he growled, taking a step toward her.  
"Sirius! That's enough!" shouted Remus, grabbing his friend by the shoulder only to be flung backwards into the throng of his teammates. "Back up you big bulldog!" she cried. Sirius growled again and lunged at her, but she ducked, swinging her right arm up in a hook, making a rough contact with his jaw. Instantly, his head flew back, neck making a sickening cracking sound and blood began to spill down from his nose. Another rough strike across his left eye and she took off running up the pitch, toward the castle.  
She ran like wildfire, not stopping until she had made it to her rooms in the East Tower, high up like Gryffindor's, but only on the opposite side of the castle. No doubt by now, Madam Pompfrey was on the scene, causing more of a scene then was most likely necessary and she was glad to be far away from it. Mara hadn't noticed the tears that had begun to streak down her cheeks during her sprint off the pitch.  
The mirror reflected her red eyes and quivering lips, and she threw her fist into it as hard as she had struck Sirius Black back on the pitch. Glass shattered, slicing her hand and blood instantly flowed forth, multiplying the pain that she felt in her heart at harming her love, by ten. Mara fell back onto her bed, crying harshly.  
A rap against her bedpost startled her up from her crying state. Her eyes widened and she sat bolt right up, clutching her bleeding hand to her chest. "How the bloody hell did you get into my rooms?" she sniveled, quickly trying to wipe her tears away, only managing to make her hand bleed more.  
He took a step toward her, standing at the edge of her bed. "Mara." cooed the soft voice of Remus Lupin. "It wasn't your fault, and Sirius." he sighed. "Sirius doesn't know any better, his temper is a short spark, always has been."  
"I don't want to hear about Sirius! How is James?" Remus bit his lower lip and looked away. "Damnit Remus!" she stood suddenly, looking very angry and hurt. "What happened to him? Is he ok? Did Madam Pompfrey take him to the hospital wing? What happened?"  
"Yes!" he shouted back. "He's in the hospital wing but." his voice trailed off as he looked away from her.  
"But?" she growled, twisting him around by his shoulder with her free hand. "But what? What is it?" she shook him violently. "Answer me Remus Lupin! For Merlin's sake! Answer me!"  
  
His eyes were cold and full of sorrow as they turned upon her. "Your bludger hit him hard Mara." she winced in pain as he spoke the words she dreaded to hear. "He has a concussion. He can't remember his own name."  
"No!" she cried, releasing his shoulder and falling to floor in a heap. "No!" she sobbed again, tears falling instantly from her eyes. The room had been spinning so fast and suddenly it just stopped with her in a heap on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. He knelt at her side, putting a hand upon her shoulder but she flung it off with a violent shrug. "No! Leave me be!"  
"Mara-"  
"I said go!" she shouted, curling tightly into herself, weeping as she did. Footsteps led themselves, as silently as they had entered, to exit the room. She heard the door close this time and looked up to see that he was gone before reached into her robe pocket for a handkerchief that James had given her the first night they had met. It still held light stains of blood, mud and tears as well as his embroidered initials.  
Mara dabbed the cloth against her cheek, flashing back to the night he had dabbed it there. "Oh James!" she cried, her tears falling harder. Wrapping the cloth around her bleeding hand she stood and tore from her room, heading to the hospital wing. Upon her arrival, she ducked behind a suit of armor in the corridor seeing a very disturbed Lily Evans being led from the room by Sirius Black.  
When she was sure the coast was clear, she slipped into the Hospital Wing, seeing a bed with the curtains drawn tight around it. Sneaking silently across the tile, she slipped unnoticed by the mediwitch into the curtains. He lay there, lifelessly still, but breathing. "James." she whispered, leaning her lips to his forehead. His eyes fluttered open briefly but then shut again.  
Silent tears again met her cheeks as she knelt at his bedside clutching his hand. "I need you James. Please.don't go." she whispered, leaning her head down against his shoulder when suddenly she felt a hand upon her own. Her body tensed, as she slowly turned her bleary eyes upon Remus Lupin. Words failed her as she tried to bite back her tears in his presence.  
He knelt at her side, looking to his best friend in the bed to her. "Mara I'm so sorry." he put a comforting arm around her shoulder, but she was cold to him, not willing to lean in as if he were James.  
"Don't be sorry Remus.this is all my fault." She said coldly, closing her eyes, her heart tearing into pieces.  
"Don't blame yourself.you couldn't have continued on with him.he would have broken your heart."  
"He gave himself to me last night," she said looking up into his eyes, tears continuing to flow, and her hands shaking.  
"Oh Mara." he frowned, a wrinkle creasing in his forehead. "He really did love you." he brought his fingers to the edge of her short fringed hair. "But he.could not have chosen you." his words were cold, and hurtful but he could not deny the truth. And deep within her heart, she knew Remus was right, though she would never admit it.  
"You're wrong Remus. He-" she gasped for breath. "He-" she choked and closed her eyes feeling the tears fall. "He couldn't chose me." and the tears stung mercilessly against her eyes as they fell. "God I loved him! You just don't understand!" she wailed and then quickly cupped her hand over her mouth.  
"Madam Pompfrey thinks it is likely he will not regain his memory.not fully." she gasped at his words, shrinking down against the curtain around his bed. "Mara.please don't look at me so.it breaks my heart." she shuddered, her eyes going hollow. "Mara."  
"Then you are saying." she hiccuped against her harsh breath, through tears. "He is not meant." the tears dripped down her cheek and fell against her bleeding hand. "That I am not to allow him to remember." she threw her hands over her face and wept hard. "I love him damnit! I love him!"  
"Shh." he tried to calm her but she thrashed and pushed away his arms.  
"No damnit! Don't you shush me! I love him!" she cried, her body trembling worse then before. "I love him and he loved me! And I won't let him forget!"  
"If you won't let him forget then why do you say loved, instead of loves?" his words froze her cold. She gasped, her lips flapping as if to speak, only no sound came out. His eyes held great sorrow as he reached out and put his hand upon her shoulder. "You must let him go. If you love him, let him go."  
She shook her head, trembling and crying. "I love him." but it was not the question of whether she loved him. It was the question of how much. In her heart she knew she loved him enough to let him go, but could not bear the thought of it. Standing suddenly, she took off, running down the corridor and bursting out of the hospital wing. Her legs carried her sure and fast to the only place she knew she could find the solace of solitude, the Gryffindor Locker Room.  
She pushed hard against the door, surprised to find it open. Running across the room she collapsed on the bed where she and James had made love, the sheets still a mess, her tears flowing more freely then they ever had before. She had lost everything. Her hair, gone. Her innocence, gone. Her lover, gone. Her will to live, gone.  
As she stood from the bed, contemplating the best way to go about ending her pains, it caught her eye. A yellowing piece of parchment tucked beneath the pillow on which they had slept. Mara grabbed the paper and gasped, seeing his handwriting all over it. It was a letter, but not to her, to Lily Evans.  
  
"My Dearest Lily:  
If you are reading this letter, then I have gone. I can no longer hide my true feelings in risk of damaging your precious heart. For while I do love it dearly, there is another whom has stolen my heart and it beats solely for her. I love Mara, far beyond what I ever thought capable of myself. Last night I did not retreat to the pitch to fly, I met with her, and realized that my life was empty without her. I have given myself to her, and have never felt more complete in my life. When I'm with her, my world is so complete, words cannot describe it. You will always have a special place in my heart, but you cannot have my heart, as it is not mine to give. It belongs to Mara Hooch. And I love her with every living cell in my body. Forgive me for misleading you in any false intentions of mine, I know I am an ass and do not deserve happiness for own heart because I am most certainly breaking yours, but I cannot betray my own heart and it has long since chosen her.  
Sincerely yours,  
James R. Potter  
  
Tears had soaked the parchment she clutched gently in her hands. The room was empty save for her tears, and her heart was broken by a love she could not have. For she loved him far too much to make him miserable as Remus had promised she would. She sat alone, feeling the pain, allowing her heart to break over and over again as she read his words, his intents, that Lily Evans would never see. Standing up, she tucked the letter into her robe front and headed slowly back up to the castle.  
  
~*~  
  
Three years after her graduation she had received an invitation to what would be called the wedding of the century. Gryffindor Head Girl, Lily Evans and Quidditch house star, James Potter were to wed that May. And she was invited to attend. Checking no in the response box, she tossed the invitation into the hearth and watched it burn as the flames danced merrily along the parchment's edges.  
  
~*~  
  
"Presenting for the first time to the wizarding public, Mr. and Mrs. James Randolph Potter," an elder wizard beamed from atop the pulpit. The lovely bride and groom descended the altar, smiles brightly in place on their faces. A reception ensued almost immediately.  
"Will all the lovely young gentlemen in the crowd today, please take your space in line to dance with the lovely Mrs. Potter? And ladies do the same for Mr. Potter." said Molly Weasley over the microphone, holding her third born baby, Percy, in her arm as she spoke. Mara rose slowly from her chair in the back and joined the line of former schoolgirls to dance with the now married Mr. Potter.  
At last, her turn had arrived. "Hello there," he smiled, not really recognizing the woman of who's hand he had just taken to dance.  
"Hello James." She said softly, dancing slowly with him. "You don't remember me."  
He frowned, "You look familiar.should I?" he asked and her heart sank. Should he? There was so much he should, but the man's wedding night was hardly the time. Never would be the time and she had come to terms with that, her only reason in coming to the wedding had been closure. She smiled and shook her head.  
"No. Well I went to school with you, a year behind you, played Quidditch against you in Ravenclaw." she sighed softly. "I'm afraid I'm the one responsible for your accident in your seventh year."  
"Oh." he said, trailing off, his eyes seeming lost and hollow, looking over in the direction of his new bride. "Oh that's right.what was your name again?"  
She smiled sadly, the tears inside threatening to well up again, but she quickly checked them. "Mara Hooch. I didn't mean to hit you so hard with my bludger. I came to your wedding to sort of.apologize."  
He frowned but smiled at her at the same time. "No need, accidents are accidents."  
"You've no idea." she muttered looking up at him. James' face fell to a look of confusion. "Er.nevermind." He eyed her face over, puzzlement filling his eyes as they landed to her hair.  
"I like your hair, it's very short.most girls are afraid to wear their hair that short."  
Mara checked another wave of tears. "I wear it like that because of a boy," she sighed. "A boy who I gave my world to."  
He frowned, "Surely you still love this boy?"  
She sighed, feeling dejected. "Very much so. Only this boy is married, to another woman,"  
"I'm sorry to hear that.Mara."  
"Don't be. It's not your fault. Accidents happen," and she slowly released herself from him as their song ended. Stepping up on her tiptoes, she whispered in his ear. "I wish you the best of luck in your new life, and hope you the best of happiness with Lily." A gentle kiss fell from her lips to his cheek. "Goodbye forever James Potter."  
Her steps echoed her softly as she turned through the masses and left the hall where they were dancing. She never saw Remus' sympathetic nor Sirius' glare of hatred, to that day he still blamed her for the accident. Mara Hooch would never look back on that day, nor any other that involved James Potter. But she could never forget, nor would she ever regret, what she did for her love of the game, her love of the boy. 


End file.
